“I’m heading down to the cafeteria for dinner,” I said.
The charge nurse looked up from the central desk. “Go ahead. We’re good for now.”
I padded down the hallway to the end of the ward, touched the square steel plate on the wall, walked through the open doors and caught the elevator to the ground floor.
The serving line was still open. I picked up a tray, made my selections, paid the cashier and sat down at one of the empty tables along the far wall. There were plenty of vacant seats to choose from.
Methodically, I began to eat. It had been a long afternoon, looking in on the patients on the ward, talking with concerned parents, answering pages from the ED, reviewing labs and x-rays in radiology on the third floor. I was glad for my dinner break, glad for a few moments of down time, glad for the chance to put something in my stomach.
“Mind if I join you?” I looked up at the bald-headed bearded face and motioned for him to sit down. He slid his tray onto the table and pulled out the chair. “You on for the duration?” he asked, reaching for his napkin.
“Until tomorrow morning,” I said. “Twenty-four hour shift.”
“Sometimes Sundays are quiet,” he said.
“You never know,” I smiled.
“You never do,” he said.
We ate in silence. Then he said, “You’re covering pediatrics?” I nodded. “I thought I saw you earlier in the ED.”
“I’ve been around the block a few times since the morning.”
“Haven’t we all,” he said. I noticed the name embroidered in red over the breast pocket on his white coat. “Had a gunshot wound come in mid afternoon,” he said. “Self inflicted.”
I pushed the mashed potatoes around on the plate with my fork. “Did he make it?”
“If you want to call it that,” he said. He held his fork suspended by his side and raised the index finger of his left hand to the side of his head. “Amateurs,” he said. “They don’t know anatomy.”
I lifted a forkful of food to my mouth and chewed slowly.
“The bullet entered the cranium at a shallow angle,” he said. “Spun around the inside of his head like a marble on a roulette wheel. Homogenized his grey matter like whipped jelly. Left the brainstem intact. Not much to do for that.”
I swallowed the potatoes and waited.
“I expect he’s gone by now,” the bald-headed bearded man said. “At least, I hope so.”
Suddenly, the quiet was broken: my pager went off. I pushed the button to silence the noise, read the extension and rose from the table. “Gotta go,” I said.
He raised a silent hand, as though he were offering a blessing. “Hope the rest of your night is quiet,” he said.
For some inexplicable reason, it was.